J i n x x

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Do you remember the way the clouds looked that night, when the traffic lights were passing stars and we learned what it felt like to kiss with our mouths wide open? 

When you told me you think love looks like the dark soft inside of rotten peach, how you pointed to your bruise and said “Just like this, just like this.”

When you told me you think happiness feels like so much water, like a child jumping into pools where his feet don’t touch the bottom. How it feels endless until it doesn’t, until you hold your breath long enough and feel the ground hit your knees.

Do you remember when the highways moaned our names; how you said it almost sounded like they were rooting for us? How the center-lines slammed against our tires and you said it felt like saying goodbye?

When you told me the streetlights made us look like ghosts, when it was beautiful to not exist for a while.

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"Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made."

"Beware a calm surface—you never know what lies beneath."

"Aries: how have you been? Yes you with the angry eyes and the broken heart. Didn’t anyone tell you that smiling with your lips is the worst smile? Smiling with your eyes is the best love. I find it prodigious really, how you pick yourself up after being impaired.
Taurus: and even when everything stings, even when everything burns, even when you’re on the verge of giving up. You looked fear in the eye and said “Go to hell” because sorrow is a sign of the times, and your willpower is stronger than your emotions. You control you.
Gemini: when the dandelions fall out of your hair, and the skies turn orange. When the little paper cut burns a little more than you’d like it to or when the grass you sit on has a little too much dewdrops. When everything is a little too much, or just not enough, know one thing is certain. Someone is thinking of you, somewhere.
Cancer: sometimes I want to sue the world, how can it be so harsh on something so sweet? How can something so sweet do something so bitter? In a gutter your light would still shine. In the dark you can’t see, “Am I darkness or has darkness become me?” Be free, you are light and you are dazzling me.
Leo: compliments feel like sticky pastes ‘cause you don’t believe in the smiles on their face, it’s a maze. Run, run, don’t come back, see the stars and kiss your scars. Kiss your own skin, love your own face. You are independent, you are relentless. Puppet on a strings, threaded to promises.
Virgo: a shattered self esteem, an introvert with devoured dreams. Eaten by the greedy, the successful and the liars. Fake friends meeting sadness at one end, hate at the other. But “otherwise I’ll be alone and no one wants to be lonely and I’m lonely when I’m alone” the critical mind, the self paining cries. “Alright, it’s alright.” Repeat it until you believe it.
Libra: when love and chaos meet, you will see me at the early morning sunrise. Plucking petals off of periwinkle blue, eerie flowers. You said you were a night owl, one to always sleep in. The last few days you’ve been up at five thirty, meeting the sunset with tired eyes. You told me that fatigue is the price of caring for someone too deeply, you said it meant love.
Scorpio: the claws of the nightmares enrol in your daydreams, the screams and whispers shiver you to the bone. You’re not afraid, you’re not scared, just a little bit alone. But you’re dying to stay positive, come on love you can do it. You keep telling yourself lies, “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.” You’re in the headlights, on the front row of your own movie. Stop feeling like you have to pay for the tickets.
Sagittarius: let’s run away tonight, let’s get drunk under summer stars and hope we’ll get home without broken hearts. Let’s run, let’s go, I don’t want to know. There’s too many pain in this black and white town, let’s leave and build our own out of cracked bones and broken homes.
Capricorn: when the shadows catch up with you, and the fatigue seeps through your lifeless skin; when the dandelions feel like uselessness and the smell of rain reminds you of broken glass… know that you don’t need to be fixed. You are not broken. Reading glasses slipping off noses, tossing and turning to get a slight chance of sleep.. know that everything you tell yourself you are, is how you limit yourself. You tell yourself it’s all you’ll ever be.
Aquarius: jars filled with little papers. They’re inked with words that are left unknown, one word for every day together with a number. Today the word was “HOPE” together with a six-point-seven on the happiness ratio. Yesterday it was “MELANCHOLY” with a five on the scale of misery. Never daring to get close to nines and tens, those were for people with real problems- funerals, breakups, getting fired. Maybe five, maybe an in between. A non-answer. Maybe five.
Pisces: someone told me about their imaginary friend named Ann, she was sweet and nice but cold like ice. Her hair was raven black and she always wore sundresses even in the winter. They played tennis with her and wore each others clothes, one day Ann had the leave the young person. They cried and weeped “Why?” they screeched. Ann frowned and held the persons face in her hands. “Other people need me too, you’re not alone. Just have the courage to pretend.”"

"You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how you love. There is courage in that."